Heart and Soul
by Saruvi
Summary: Tsuzuki is planning to move on. Can Hisoka come to terms with how he feels for his partner and make the man stay?


**Disclaimer**: Yami no Matsuei and the characters Hisoka Kurosaki, Asato Tsuzuki, and other YnM characters are the property of Yoko Matsushita.

**A/N**: I hope you enjoy this. I cried while writing it. I'm such a sap lol. I might add to this later on, I'm not sure yet.

I might take a little break from writing for a few days. Though, I'm always thinking of something to write. Plus, I'm working on the sequel to Child's Play and working on another story where I'll be putting the YnM characters into the realm of an MMORPG. Like the one I play.

--

Hisoka knocked lightly on the office door of the Ministry's secretary. He pushed the door open when he heard a soft 'come in' come from inside the office. Tatsumi looked up at the young boy standing infront of him. Arching a brow, he asked,

"Is there something you need Kurosaki-kun?"

"I need to speak to you for a moment," Hisoka replied, sliding into one of the comfortable wingback chairs infront of Tatsumi's desk. The secretary put down his pen and laced his fingers together on top of his desk.

"What is it you need?" the secretary asked.

"Why is he doing this?" the boy asked.

Tatsumi knew who 'he' was. He was Tsuzuki, the boy's partner for the last four years. He'd spoken with the amethyst eyed shinigami several times about his decision to move on. Tsuzuki had hoped that him and his partner could become more. Especially after Kyoto. But ever since then, the boy and the man hadn't progressed in their relationship past being very close friends. Tsuzuki was in love with Hisoka, and he just wanted to be with the boy more than friends, but Hisoka seemed to just brush off his declarations of love and pull away from anything that spelled relationship.

Hisoka was afraid of relationships. They meant opening yourself up completely to another person. They meant eventual intimacy. He'd only been with one person in his life, and none since his death. He was afraid to open up even further than he had already. With the exception of Tsuzuki, no one had ever gotten close enough to know who Hisoka really was. But now, he was losing the one person he cared so much about. The one person whom he loved with his heart and soul.

The teen had been devastated when the older man had told him his decision, he didn't cry, he didn't yell, he had just stood there. Though, he'd wanted to throw himself at his partner, like he had done in Kyoto, he'd held himself back. He forced himself to hold back from begging his partner to stay. After choking out a hoarse whisper of 'why,' he'd simply walked out of their office when given the reason. Holding in his tears, he'd teleported home to cry alone.

"He's been around a long time. And he feels it's time for him to move on," Tatsumi explained.

It was the same reason Tsuzuki had told Hisoka that day in his office when he'd told him he was planning to move on. It still made Hisoka want to cry.

"Isn't there anything you can say to make him change his mind?" Hisoka was desperate, which was why he'd decided to ask Tatsumi to try to change his partner's mind.

"I can't ask him to stay when he doesn't wish to Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi said.

"But back in Kyoto, when I asked him to stay, he did. Maybe, since you and he are so close..." Hisoka trailed off.

"This isn't Kyoto. He isn't suicidal, nor is he depressed. He's made up his mind," the secretary told him.

Tatsumi saw Hisoka's emerald eyes well up with tears. The boy was trying to hold them back, but some slipped quietly down his pale cheeks. Tatsumi didn't know what to say. Well, no, he knew exactly what to say, but he wasn't sure Hisoka wanted to hear it. Or what the boy would do if he did.

"I... I can't lose him Tatsumi, please help me keep him," Hisoka choked back a sob.

"Only you can change his mind Hisoka," Tatsumi said softly. Hisoka looked at the man. It was the first time he'd ever used his given name instead of calling him Kurosaki-kun.

"What do you mean?" the youth asked, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

"I think you know what I mean. Only you can make Tsuzuki stay. If you just open yourself a little more than you already have. If you tell him how you feel about him," the secretary stood up from his desk and walked around it. He perched himself on the corner, next to the side where Hisoka was sitting.

"I'm scared Tatsumi. Wh-what if he..." Hisoka couldn't finish his sentence. He hung his head. He felt so ashamed of himself for not being able to tell his partner how he felt about him. He loved him more than a partner, more than a friend, but he couldn't tell him.

"Hisoka, you know he wouldn't reject you. You should know exactly how Tsuzuki feels about you. He tells you he loves you several times everyday," Tatsumi told him.

"What if he only loves me like he does everyone else? I mean, it's Tsuzuki after all, he loves everyone," the boy replied. Even as he said it, he knew it was a lie. He knew Tsuzuki loved him in a romantic sense.

"You're an empath Hisoka, you should know that what Tsuzuki feels for you isn't the same love he feels for everyone else. If you want him to stay, you need to open yourself up and make him see that moving on will only hurt you both. Make him see how much you love him. Show him there's more for him here to hold onto than he thinks," Tatsumi told him.

Hisoka stood up. Biting his bottom lip, he came to a decision. He wouldn't let himself lose the one thing he had ever really loved. He wouldn't stand here and watch the man who had done so much for him walk away forever. He'd tell him as soon he left Tatsumi's office.

Walking over to the door, he started to turn the knob when he looked back. Tatsumi was looking at him.

"Arigatou Tatsumi," he said.

Tatsumi smiled as he watched the boy leave the office.

--

Hisoka walked back to the office he shared with his partner. He stopped infront of the door, pausing to take a deep breath. Running his hands through his honey colored hair, he wiped his eyes once to get rid of any lingering tears, then pushed the door open.

Tsuzuki was sitting at his desk scribbling something on one of the reports he was supposed to be filling out. Hisoka stood in the doorway, then walked in. Closing the door behind him, he clicked the lock. Tsuzuki looked up when he heard the click.

"Soka, why'd you lock the door?" Tsuzuki asked.

"I need to talk to you Tsuzuki," Hisoka answered.

His voice was shaky and he felt his throat begin to tighten up as well as his chest.

_I can do this. I can tell him how I feel about him. I can make him stay. Because I love him. Because he loves me too. And, I want him to stay. Because I can't live without him._

"Sure Soka, what do you want to talk about?" the man dropped his pen and pushed his chair away from his desk.

"Tsuzuki, please stay," Hisoka said, immediately he wanted to strangle himself.

_That wasn't what I wanted to say dammit._

_Kurosaki, just tell him._

_I'm trying to..._

_Then do it already._

"Soka, we've already talked about this. I feel it's time for me to go," Tsuzuki said, standing up and leaning against his desk.

"What about your promise? You promised we would stay together, what about that?" Hisoka started crying.

"It's been awhile since we made that promise Hisoka. I've lived so long I just think maybe it's time to move on," the man told him.

Hisoka suddenly threw himself at his partner, clutching his shirt in his hands. He cried into the man's chest.

"Please, Tsuzuki, please don't go. I need you. I'm begging you to stay," Hisoka sobbed.

"Why Soka? Why do you want me to stay so much?" Tsuzuki asked, wrapping his arms around the smaller male.

"I-I love you! That's why dammit!" Hisoka practically shouted the words. He felt the emotions inside his partner swell up. Heard his heart beat faster. Hisoka almost reeled from all the love and care that spilled out of his partner into him.

"Baby, please stop crying," Tsuzuki reached up to cup the empath's chin in his fingers. Turning up the boy's head, he leaned down to kiss him.

The boy wrapped his arms around the man's chest, clinging to him, never wanting to let him go. He returned the kiss, parting his lips to allow Tsuzuki to slide his tongue inside his mouth. Tsuzuki tightened his hold on Hisoka as he deepened the kiss. When they couldn't breathe, they parted, but stayed inside each other's arms.

"I love you too Hisoka," Tsuzuki whispered.

"Then stay with me. Don't leave me. I can't live without you. I don't want to even try," Hisoka told him, his eyes began to water once again and Tsuzuki leaned down to kiss away each tear as it fell down his face.

"Only if you'll stay with me as well. I can't live without you either, " Tsuzuki told him, as he pressed their foreheads together.

"Please be with me. All I want is to be with you. I love you," Hisoka whispered.

"That's what I want as well. I love you too. I want to be with you always," Tsuzuki said.

"I want to always be with you too," the boy told him, pressing his lips against the others.

They stayed in each other's arms long after they'd pulled their lips away to catch their breaths. Tsuzuki no longer wanted to move on. He was right where he wanted to be. In the arms of the boy he'd always loved and would continue to love for the rest of his days.

Unbeknownst to the pair, Tatsumi stood outside their office. He didn't usually eavesdrop, but this time, he couldn't resist. He had to know the outcome of his talk with Hisoka. So, he'd followed silently when Hisoka had left his office. He smiled as he walked back to his office to finish his paperwork for the day, knowing that Tsuzuki and Hisoka wouldn't be getting anymore work done that day. And for once, Tatsumi had to say, he didn't mind.


End file.
